I appreciate your last couple of paragraphs, Bren, but I think you missed an important point. I am not going to "announce straightaway" that I am a member of a rewards program because white people don't have to announce right away that they are. Why would I present myself differently? I am not playing a "waiting game;" I'm being a customer. The clerks know the rules too! Do you see the difference?

I didn't acknowledge the security guard who asked a silly question. Why would I? I don't have to answer him. However, I do have to notice that he warned me, and not someone else. I don't need "unconditioning." The people who don't get it do. I don't have to announce myself. Announcing myself is acknowledging a difference. I am announcing my sameness.