One of the saddest moments of my adult life was noticing the change in behavior of the three-year-old child of white friends of mine. We'd been guests in one another's homes, shared meals, I'd been a babysitter for this child, and he was always happy to see me. One day, when I leaned in for my accustomed hug, he backed away with a panicked look on his face and a visceral "Don't touch me!" I knew then that racial views from the outside world had worked their way into his world and had overtaken the teachings of his parents. I knew what it was. I've seen that look of panic on the faces of plenty of white people when I've shown up in unexpected places.