White Americans seem obsessed with "placing you" in some racial category, generally either "black" or "white" and which determines how much courtesy they offer you.

Some years ago, I was waiting for a friend in a hotel, and I noticed an Asian couple not just looking at me, but obviously staring. After several minutes, the couple approached me and asked, "Are you one of our people?" I had to ask, "Who are our people?" They answered, "Filipino, of course!" After telling them that I wasn't a Filipina, they began running the list of Asian countries. I told them I was a black American. They laughed their butts off.

These people were attempting to guess my "whatness" because they were hoping to find a compatriot, not put me into a racial box or figure how much privilege to accord me. Had they been white Americans, they would have just presumed "black" and treated me accordingly. Whites do not like to waste their courtesy on the "undeserving."