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“You’ll Shoot Your eye Out!”
A Christmas Story about “A Christmas Story”
Ho, Ho, Ho!
“You’ll shoot your eye out!” may be December’s best-known refrain. You can overhear it in millions of households as Christmas nears, and you can be tormented by it for 24 hours on the day itself, should you choose. Ralphie is the pudgy, blond, nine-year old who desires an “official Red Ryder, carbine action, 200-shot, range model air rifle with a compass in the stock and this thing that tells time.” (It is imperative that you recite the entire quotation in one breath.) Contrary to his desire, nearly every adult Ralphie esteems tells him, “You’ll shoot your eye out!”
You’ve seen the film at least once, if not a half-dozen times. Adult Ralphie narrates the episodes leading to his best Christmas ever. His friend, Flick, gets his tongue stuck to the flag pole at recess. Ralphie and his friends fruitlessly dodge the clutches of the bully with yellow eyes. We mourn again the ignominious fate of the family’s turkey dinner at the dripping jaws of the Bumpus Family’s uncouth hounds.
I’ve seen it too, and too, and too, and ... I’m a genuine member of the “A Christmas…
